ta-da! welcome to my world. :)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
no love, remember?

Hahah. And since no one would listen to how agonizing my life has become, I will talk to you, my dear blogmates. Alam kong paulit-ulit nalang, pero please, talagang wala akong ibang makausap, except for some special people, about this matter. And somehow, these few people can't talk me out of anything that I'm doing.

I find you as such a gorgeous sight. Girls would drool over your broad shoulders, the body that seems to hide all those ehr...heaviness. And those eyes...I be damned if you fail to capture anyone. Pero kahit man itabi ako sa'yo, or whatever, you seem so distant. I don't know if I'm the one who's creating the gap, or you're the one who's making the distance. After all, you're the one who's making me feel singled out.

Pero alam ko na kung ano mang gusto ko mangyari ay hindi mangyayari.

Because what I want to happen...never happens. I want you to ease up. I want you to be comfortable with me. I want you to consider me as a friend. I want you to comment on this post. See, impossible 'no. It's like wishing for world peace to happen.

Ngayon, parang ayoko na mag-online. Kasi ayaw kong maabutan ka. And I don't want to get the burning sensation of I-wish-I-could-IM-you-but-I-can't. Ayoko na. Ayoko nga pumasok sa school eh. I'm the one who'll be telling you this. I love school. Used to.

But ironically, some things that I want to happen, ACTUALLY happened. And it's got me wishing things never happened. Nung naayos ko na yung isa, everything's back to normal, may bago nanamang problema. This time, more challenging, and a stricter time limit. 4 months. Nung una 6 months eh.

What am I going to do with you? Tingnan mo nga oh, paikot ikot na utak ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano sasabihin.

Wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Give me a break. Eh what if you don't have anything to hold on from the start? Wala kang inaasahan? Pano ka pa? That's what's juggling on my mind right now. Kung ok ba tayo o hindi.

I don't want you to look at me anymore. Because I love every glance that you give me. And that's got me hoping for something to happen. And I don't know why I bother so much about you.

I love you? No. I don't think so. And I don't even want to waste time thinking if I do or I don't. I don't even know what love is. Before, I'd be the first to accept the fact that I love a certain person...even if I really don't. And now that things are going this way, I'd be the first to deny that I don't love you.

There's no love, remember?

P.S. who i am talking about is not who it seems. he's not always the center of my world.

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