ta-da! welcome to my world. :)
Monday, January 29, 2007
dreams

Haha. I made my post to my grandlola on draft. Such a great woman doesn't deserve a lousy post like that. (:

---

I have been having dreams lately. Dreams that involve numerous different stuff. Things I love, things I hate, things I never imagined I would be dreaming of.

Have you heard of astral dreams? Yes, I'd reckon that you have. If you haven't, then they are dreams that seem so real... You were there, you touched everything, you felt what you should feel. Yes, I've had a lot of those. Yesterday, I woke up crying. I dreamt of my teacher saying something really nice to me that I was so touched that I cried. When I woke up, I was crying, and I wanted to stop. But I couldn't. I really don't know why.

Since I was a kid, I've been dreaming that this angel is carrying me into my bed. I don't know what I was doing, but someone was carrying me to my bed. I felt their hands. I also remember this one dream that I fell from the railings in SM Southmall.

Now what's bothering me, is that I have no clue what these dreams mean. Yeah sure, feed me a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep...in dreams you will lose your heartaches. Yeah right. In dreams you will lose your heartaches?

Well yes, maybe I shouldn't be bothering to bother about these things. But they keep on happening. And they kind of freak me out. I've never dreamt so much before. Never dreamt of things, people that I actually would want to dream about.

Now what do my dreams mean?


Wednesday, January 24, 2007
annoyed.

I didn't go to school today, I went to visit my lola's wake. She just died last Monday, at exactly 7.30 p.m., due to organ failure which was due to her breast cancer. We went there, stayed for a while, talked to some relatives, and bummed around at dad's. After that, we went to Makati to buy fake CDs and DVDs (Edu Manzano must never read this. ((: ). I'm getting really into anime stuff right now. I read mangas before, and I would always switch to Animax whenever I could. Oh, and how about those weekday afternoons watching Ranma 1/2 in Animax before?! Ah well, I bet anime would be here to stay... I like the cutesy kind of animes though. You know, like...uhm... Tsuyo Kiss?! Come on you know what I mean.


So after Makati, we went to Market Market because mum still had a meeting. We had a small amount of money (we spent them on takeouts and the dbd dbd) left and we had to waste time till mom gets the chance to get out of the meeting. She gave us bucks again, and we went back to Market-Market again. Chiara and I split ways, she went with our family driver, Manong Tinoy.


I just went around Market Market, scouting for clothes, when I went across Petit Monde.




Saleslady: Miss, itong dress oh bagay sainyo

Bkee : Sige, I'll go back for it next time

Saleslady: Miss, pants lang?

Bkee: *flashes that oh-so (NOT) dazzling smile of hers*

Saleslady: Sige na mam, card niyo na lang...

Bkee : *snicker snicker*



Wow. Do I actually look like I would have a credit card with me?! I look seriously THAT old?! Or I look THAT mature?! Do I look rich enough to carry a credit card?! Now, I don't know if I'd be happy or what. Hehe.


After market, we went back to get mum, and we went home.


I cannot wait to go shopping again.


Since when did I itch to go shopping? Something's wrong with me. (:



Saturday, January 20, 2007
you got a long way to go... (:

I have a post that's on draft, I'd be posting it when the pictures are already transferred and edited. I made a new layout for Hazel. You can click her name to check it out. I honestly think it's nicer than my layout. Haha. I made it, though. And she was right beside me when I was doing it.




--hazel's layout--




-- angeli's supposed-to-be layout --



I also made one for Angeli, but she doesn't have a blog yet. Hahah. But this is going to be her layout when she gets to start one. (: Hers is lovely too. Lovelier than mine. But I intend to keep my layout low-key. Hahah. She was also beside me when I made her layout.

Anyways, I had a pretty interesting week. But this week has left me in such a wreck, I brought no books and whatever stuff home to do my homework. Really. I feel so wrecked, I just decided on doing my homework while at school, early.

Here's my week in a dash:

Monday:

Had regular classes, except for the fact that we had a Spelling Bee. I did no studying. Absolutely. Except for one quiz off the net, which tested you on the most commonly misspelled words. Surprisingly, I got 2nd place. Yey me! Celine got first place, congratulations! And then JP's brother got third place. I was really surprised that I won. I mean come on. You're battling against people older than you.

Tuesday:

Did not have regular classes. We, the propsmen of our play, were out the whole day due to preparations for the play. The other students had a batch practice for the cheering competition. The Seniors bagged all the awards. I didn't mind, though. I was "confessing" (as Johan puts it) to Ms. Sharon. Confession ba yun? Naguusap lang kami. Hahahahah!

Wednesday:

No classes at all. Seniors had a NCAE or something like that. Went to ATC with Hazel and Angeli. Wow, we saw someone ATC. He's haunting me. No, I didn't see him. But I did see someone who's somewhat related to him. Scary scary scary. (:

Thursday:

Batch practice the whole day. Well, the rest of the students, at least. We were asked to make pompoms. Now here's something you have to understand:
  • we don't know how to make pompoms
  • we don't have enough material
  • we didn't receive clear instructions on how miss wanted it to appear

I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY MAKING DAMN POMPOMS. Dear Gott in himmel. It was really tiring. I didn't know pompoms caused so much effort to make.

Friday:

They didn't even use the damn pompoms during the cheerleading competition. Frustrating, really. I didn't think they gave credit to how much effort we put into making them. Akala nila pasarap lang kami dun sa gilid, gumagawa ng pompom. I don't know how to put it, but it was a pain in the ass, back, arms...the whole body.

Seniors bagged almost everything, except the best costume, which the Juniors got. I honestly thought the Sophomores were good. I don't know why they didn't win against the Juniors. Lifteeeerr! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (: Anyways, it was a great day. Really funny. Talong and saging. It was fun wasting time with friends. Most of my friends are planning to join the cheering squad of our batch next year. I know they'd make it. Sila pa. While I, on the other hand, might try my hand on ehrr..."musical instruments" (which one?! HUH?! (:/) or maybe just do the props. Or Music. Or whatever. I just NEED something to take my mind off certain stuff. However, if and when I lose weight during the summer, I seriously might consider being a cheerdancer.

Nahh, ang asim. Hahahaha. I'll just deal with the "musical instruments".

Actually, most of them are going to take dance lessons at STOMP. I told my mom about it and she made me choose: soccer or stomp?

I chose soccer. HAHAHA. (:

Anyways, Hazel and Angeli came over our house. Grabe, time flies fast when you have fun. I love you both. Pati dun sa mga hindi nakapunta, Barbie, Angelique. Lab you too. Hahah.

Go saging + talong!

...and that was my week. Supposedly, in a dash. (:

P.S. guys: talong+sugpo=sinigang?!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007
introspect.

I feel fear, anxiety, and oddly, some sort of happiness and excitement. Probably excitement of what I'm going to try out; happy because I've finally figured things out. But you have to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, you'll never really know what's going on his mind.

The answer to most of my questions are practically lying everywhere, I've just remained blind to them. Books that I've read, people I've talked to. I hate it. I hate the fact that the solution to my agony is just lying there...

I learned so much today. Scratch that. Realized so much today. Realized things I already knew.

Ironically, these realizations had something to do with the movie A Walk to Remember.

Tell you what, I really don't like that movie. Yeah I know. Throw vegetables at me. I like romance and comedy, but I can't understand why I don't like it. It's a pretty cool movie, a lot of people I know like it. Maybe because it deals with death. Never been good with death. Maybe that's that.

And to clue you in to what I realized, read these:

Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it's like you're reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm... maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]
Landon: Jamie, Jamie I can't just be your friend.
Jamie: Landon, look, I thought I saw something in you, something good, but I was very wrong.

--------------------

*update/

Good thing I talked to our guidance counselor. Atleast now she told me what I needed to know. What I needed to ask. What I needed to DO. What I thought I knew was nothing compared to what was real.

I was living in my fantasy. He might have been all I wanted. But want is nothing compared to need. I may want a MacBook laptop, but I need food to live. Which is more important? The MacBook or food? Do you get my point?

Oo. Siguro nga he's everything I wanted.

But what, he's playing with me. Go straight man. Damn straight. Cut the chase.

But I know you won't.

I need to do something.

I always thought that I was OK about myself. Sure, I was OK about how I looked. But I allowed him to treat me unfairly. What, he was ashamed of me being his friend? Because of what? Because I wear glasses AND braces? Because I'm a geek? WHAT?! I don't understand.

And that, is exactly what I have to find out.

Am I even his friend? Give me real friendship, man. Sometimes I forget about myself already.

Something's wrong with me.

I am definitely NOT ok with myself.

Hahah. And now what, I've become really dim.


Friday, January 12, 2007
'cause i'm the one that loves you lately.

Oeeehrr. I'm sensing something right now. From you. Ahhhh I love this feeling. Hahah. The feeling of maybe-but-maybe-not. If you get my point.

Anyways. A survey that should be posted 11 days ago, but I was in Boracay.


-----------------*
What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Well, I went to London, Punta Fuego, and went to so many places. More places than I’ve been to.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I know I kept some. Of course, I’ll definitely make more for next year.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. =)

Did anyone close to you die?
Fortunately, no.

What countries did you visit?
Englaaand. And...UAE... But that was just a stopover. Haha!

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Lovelife. Just kidding. More drive. More passion. Knowing what to do. MONEY!. =p Kidding. More clothes. More time to myself.

What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t know. Probably June 5. Why? That was the start when I couldn’t eat anything for a week.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting something I wanted.

What was your biggest failure?
Haha. Don’t ask.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, nothing serious.

What was the best thing you bought?
the portable iPod charger. Darn useful. =))

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Vicky.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Vicky. Haha!

Where did most of your money go?
Food. and Clothes. and some stuff.

I don’t even have much money to spend, to start from.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting the new iPod Nano. Haha. Havaianas. Clothes. I’m more into clothes this year compared to the previous years.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
I Caught Fire – the Used, When You Were Young – The Killers, The Ghost of You – My Chemical Romance, Down on my Head - Yellowcard

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – happier, I guess.
ii. thinner or fatter? – HAHA. thinner?
iii. richer or poorer? – richer. =p HAHA.

What do you wish you'd done more?
Sports.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating. Haha.

How many one-night stands?
Secret. Kidding. Of course wala!

What was your favorite TV program?
Ho-hum... I don’t know. That 70’s Show!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Let’s see. No. I really don’t hate anyone. =))

What was the best book you read?
Chick Lit maan. Meg Cabot books + Louise Rennison’s books...also, Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes, and...God I can’t remember them all!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
In 2006? Beats me. Ang dami. Hahah.

What did you want and get?
an iPod nano. Real frriends.

What was your favorite film of this year?
HAPPY FEET! Hahah. Kidding. I saw many films this yearrr! Probably a Good Year, or Just My Luck. Love Actually. =)

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My birthday? I turned 13, and I spent the day in school. Had dinner over at T.G.I. Fridays.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Lovelife? No. I just need more DRIVE maaaaaan!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Classy. HAHA. Nah. I dress for comfort. So if you must know, jeans+chucks/havaianas+tank/polo shirt = what I usually wear. But I’m into skirts. You know, flowery girly ones. I have lots of them that I don’t even wear. HAHA!

What kept you sane?
my iPod mini. So long, so long. Hahah. friends. my blog. cleaning! (don’t ask.)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Aye. No one! hahah. Prolly matteo guidicelli, but then that was in 2005.

What political issue stirred you the most?
the cha-cha issue. it was weird. i don’t know what side i’m supposed to...side. Hahah

Who did you miss?
Awww, I missed a lot of people. Well, they’re just there, but things changed. You know. Kat, Sof...I also missed some close relationships with other people...



Who was the best new person you met?
High school is full of new people. I’m glad all of these new people have been nothing but the best.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Oh wow. I can’t remember one. Maybe I haven’t learned anything. =(

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
I’m a good writer. Also, someone said I’m mature. Yeah, and someone also told me that I deserve to be a graphic designer. =)

The most touching experience you've had this year?
Oh.... when I was crying so hard, and my mom just comforted me and asked if I wanted Starbucks, and I said no, and then she asked if I wanted ice cream and I said no, and she asked this and that and I just cried and she just stayed by my side. =)

What did you like most about yourself this year?
The thing that I strive to be a better person everyday—even if it doesn’t show.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I cuss a lot. More than ever.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Where did i go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness. If I would stayed up with you all night, then I’d know how to save a life.” HAHA. Sorry mate, I can’t think of anything.

Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes, it probably was. An interesting year. A year full of ups and downs.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Oh, there were a lot. When I went to London, England. Being there was indescribable. I felt so small, so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to expect.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
That one time when I cried so much my eyes swelled for 3 days. You know why I cried? I was so damn insecure. HAHAHA. Now, I just laugh about it. But really, it was also a touching moment.

Where were you when 2006 began?
Let us see. Siyempre, in our front yard!

Who were you with?
Mom, sister, Ates... everyone!

Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Borraaccaaay baby!

Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
My mom, my sister and my uncle. And the beeaachh. Boom, baby!

Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
To have more drive to achieve what I want to achieve. =P Man, shed the weight!

What was your favorite month of 2006?
Ho-hum. January? Haha. Probably the summer months. Ohhh b l i s s.


Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
Let’s see... Technically, no. I just imagined they drew farther. Or maybe they did go farther. Oh well.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I missed my extended family in East Ham. =)

What was your favorite record from 2006?
Oh wow. Haha. Ang dami!

How many concerts did you see in 2006?
2? Can’t remember. Oh I suck. haha.

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
Nope. I don’t drink.

Do a lot of drugs in 2006?
I zoo not zo zrugs. Heheh.

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
HAHAH. Of course!

How much money did you spend in 2006?
Don’t ask.

What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Being able to prove to myself that I can be me. =)

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
I don’t even want to think of it.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
I would have gone to London earlier, so I’d have more time to visit places. Also, not to make sayang the lessons and the gym subscription that I had. Tsk tsk.

What are your plans for 2007?
Oh wow. Lose weight, switch blogs, fix my blogs...oh wow.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I feel a bit older.

What are your wishes for the new year?
Good health and long life! HAHAH. Lose weight lose weight lose weight. Lovelife. Kidding. Ayoko na. Haha.


Thursday, January 11, 2007
you gave me a meaning to my life, 'cause i've gone beyond existing...

...and it all began, when I met you.

HAHA. I love Barbie's new cover of the APO Original.

Today has been pretty cool. Heheh (= I just realized that I think I want to be a lawyer. Or maybe in the advertising business. And a bit of freelance designing. Can journalism be a pre-law? There are still pretty many choices, but atleast I've managed to narrow them down.

...Oh wait, I still want to be a magazine editor.

Thanks to those who dropped by. You made my night. (;


Wednesday, January 10, 2007
wow.

...Blue and Yellow by the Used...
*it's on repeat mode.

you'll never find it if you're looking for it...

should have done something but i've done enough, by the way, your hands are shaking, rather waste some time with you.

should have said something, but i've said enough, by the way, your words are fading, rather waste some time with you.



It's really unfair that when I really have something worth writing, I just don't have the time to blog. And then when I finally get to blog, I finally give up on the topic and just blog about something else. To me, it loses its essence, the feelings themselves, when I blog them down at a different time. Walang kwenta narin lang.

Anyways, you know what, I really really love the song Blue & Yellow by The Used. No. Seriously. I don't know, everytime I listen to it...I just feel different. There have been many times that when I just feel so low and sluggish, and then when I listen to it, I just suddenly cry. Which helps. A lot.

On a lighter note, today was, well, a better day for me. Better than yesterday. Yesterday was awful. In fact, this has been an awful week.

Monday.

New seats. Whether to be happy or not, I know not. Hahah. Why would I be unhappy? Right now, I'm seated next to Hazel, on the right; and Angeli, on my left. Still at the back. I was only one seat away from my original seat. Haha. They both talk to me, both really tight pals, but why is there some certain part that's missing something? Oi, oi, ano yan?!

Tuesday.

Hah. If Miss Sharon had bullets, I would have swam then and there in my own pool of blood. Ms. Sharon's our guidance counselor, and our topic were boy and girl relationships. Before that, we were talking about our families. She was telling us that if we had a history of separation of parents, we should be determined to stop the cycle throughout the 4th generation starting from us. You can just imagine the dagger glares that I received. Hahah. But I don't really mind.

Also, I did something really stupid. Hey, you're welcome to tell me if you heard. (:

Now, I don't know what I would rather. When he thought I liked someone else, or now that he knows pretty well that I do still genuinely like him. Wow, I could be a good actress.

Oh, right. Just started Arnis classes in P.E. Daymn. The boys are gonna have futsal! How unfair. I hate them. ):<

Wednesday.

Ha. Ha. I intend to do good this quarter.


Friday, January 05, 2007
rush.

I'm supposed to make a serious post about some stuff in here. Well not really serious, nothing is really serious in this place. Ahwell.

Time flies fast. Haha. I was supposed to make this post 3 hours ago. Wow. It's 11 already. Next thing I know, I'd be finishing this post by 1.

Wow. I want to say so many things. Ahwell. Might as settle on one.

Anyways, I heard Joey and Miles (on 89.9, every 3 in the afternoon, i think) on the way home from the airport last Wednesday, doing a CD Review on Gwen Stefani's new album, Sweet Escape.

Now I'll tell you what. I graduated from bubblegum pop already (with some occasional exceptions, of course), but I like this album. It doesn't matter if the rhythms and beats do not seem like they've been exerted much effort on, but I like the fact that every song in it is different from the other. That's what I've been looking for lately. I mean some albums may sound good, but they can get tiresome sometimes, 'cause they sound the same. Yep, I'd be defintely buying this album. :-)


Thursday, January 04, 2007
be my romeo...

I see you twist and turn. You look so stupid, happy and numb.

And that was Local God, brought to you by Ever clear.

Hahahaha! Yeah. That song keeps playing in my head (and in the iTunes) whenever I look at him. Or whatever,wherever. He's a happy happy boy. Aww. Well, he did look stupid. And happy. And fortunately, unaware. Hahah. He's so different when in his element. Cute.

Ahwell, anyways. First day of school for the year (atleast for moi)...and well, I didn't really miss a lot. Well I missed a couple of new stuff, but that was it. I hate Ms. Cabaluna. Double periods and we were idle as can be. Well, not really idle. But I think what she asked us to do was a waste of time and energy.

Argh.

Anyways, what can we do about it ba. It's done na naman eh. Haha. :)

Ooh. I'm too lazy to put up the pictures from Boracay in my Multiply. Maybe sometime else. Also, I have pending layouts to do for Kat and Hazel. Help me. It's new year and I really want to finish what I have to finish. What else, yeah, I also have to fix my friendster layout, which is currently using a pre-made Jansport layout. I hate it. No choice.

Ahwell. I still have to do my homework. I'll get back with you guys. Love you, mean it, laterr. :)


Wednesday, January 03, 2007
nagluluwa na mata ko.

I feel like my eyes are going to pop out. And I think I left my brain in the plane.

I just came from Bora (!!!!!). And thank you very much to the people who tagged, dropped by and commented. I promise I will return your comments asap. Promise. I just don't have the time.

Wow, I'm tired. hahah. Hassle kasi. Ang daya daya. =(

I'm tired and I'm sick again and I was absent.

So much for the bliss.

I would really be looking forward to any coming breaks, holidays and whatever. Wow. For the first time ever, I would much rather be out of school.

Grabe. I'm tired.

Haaaaaaay...