ta-da! welcome to my world. :)
Monday, February 20, 2006
more.

today, i feel MORE worse than i have ever felt in my life.

today, everything just falls down. and at the time when you least expect it.

i can say that i am a pretty good actress. i can hide inside all the pent-up frustration. nobody noticed at the least. or maybe nobody just cares.

hell, i don't know what the heck is wrong with me. what the f*ck is going on with my life. what the hell i am doing.

SHE doesn't know how much she means to me. SHE DOESN'T. that's why she feels indifferently. that's why she misunderstands what i do, how i act.

i'm not blaming her. i'm blaming myself.

because i have been given time to escape. and i didn't take the chance.

...now, i'm in the brink of death. (hey. don't take it literally. i have no plans of committing suicide. atleast, not YET.)

why do i have to be ill-minded and conceited. why the heck.

i just don't understand what's going on.

I DO NOT LOVE HIM.

TRUST ME.

F*CK THIS. LET OTHERS TELL YOU THAT THEY THINK THAT I LOVE HIM. LET IT COME FROM ME, I DON'T. THEY DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. WHY THE F*CK BELIEVE THEM?

they don't know what's going on. they don't know what i'm talking about. they don't know anything. f*ck those people who backstabb me. who spread some lies to me so just other people can hate me, or hate me EVEN MORE.

i am so sick of this.

i have gone away with the flow, but i'm just tired. tired of following. tired of forgiving.

it's only a bit till you push me to the limits.

and if you do...

i'm sorry but...

WATCH OUT.