ta-da! welcome to my world. :)
Saturday, December 09, 2006
unknown purpose and discontentment.

To say that I am a discontented person could win as understatement of the year. It reflects in everything I do. Even in my layouts. I keep on switching from one to another. I keep on viewing on it like something's missing.

I've always wanted more. I never knew how to make out of what I have.

Yeah, it's human nature. But what I'm going through right now is...well rather very new.

I don't know what to do with my life. Life-wise, that's very scary. Yeah, sure I want to have a happy family and be married. That's probably what 75% of the people my age are saying. I want to be rich. Everyone wants to be rich. What do I really want? Do I want 4 kids? 2? 1? Who's ideal for me? What course do I want to take? What career track do I plan on choosing? Where will I study?

I feel like I have some purpose that is not yet known to me. I may leave this world without knowing what that purpose is.

I'm scared that I might be losing my faith.

I'm scared of what lies ahead. I might be unprepared for it. I'm scared that I may die without leaving a mark on people's lives. I'm scared of what I'm feeling. I'm going through so many new things without even knowing it.

How am I supposed to prepare for that?

Is the unexpected still unexpected when you expect it?