ta-da! welcome to my world. :)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
hiatus.

wow first time. i'd be going on a HIATUS.

no i won't be leaving.

i'd go to a secret hideaway first.

i'll tell you where when i'm ok.

maybe i'll never tell you, maybe i will...

the thing is... well, i might be posting from time to time but not as often. i'm exploring my self. =))

see ya when i will..
be back when something extremely juicy hits me.

love you all.


Monday, October 30, 2006
surveys.

http://biksters.blogspot.com

SURVEYS. =)


rainy days, mondays and london.

Listening to: Miss Murder (Director's Cut) - AFI

With just a look, they shook and heavens bowed before him. Simply a look can break your heart.


I love waking up to the misty cold air, grey skies and the pitter-pattering on the ground. I love that. I would give up anything to experience that. I feel...miserable though. I don't know if it comes with the rainy day. Yeah, I feel like there's something missing. I just don't know what's missing.

--------------------

Anyways, over at the far west, say in London, England, it's always a rainy day on a Monday. In fact, it's rainy over there in almost any given day. And I love that climate. Actually, I love everything about London. That it's so chi-chi, people look so damn good over there, and that it has very rich record of history.

To be frank with you, I do miss London a lot. Having gone there has changed a lot of things. For one, I'm not afraid to leave the country to work abroad. I just realized that last night, when my mom and I were talking over dinner. She asked me, "Do you remember what you thought of leaving the country 2-3 years ago?" And I said, "Uhm...I don't want to leave the country?!" And then she said, "No, you said that it depends upon the stability of the country's economy. If it's ok, then you'll leave. If it's not, then you'd stay because that means that the country needs you." And I was like, WOAH. My answer when I was 10 was prolly better than my answer right now. And you know why I had the guts to leave the country? It's beeaccauusee when I answered that way, I haven't been to some other country that recent. I've never experienced what it was like. Don't get me wrong, I've gone abroad prior to London, but how young was I at that time? 6? I'd prolly forget about those things. So you see my dear friends...

To leave or not to leave, that is the question.


Sunday, October 29, 2006
love like winter.

talaga nga naman. ang aking kapatid, iniwang bukas itong blowg whatever niya. hindi to si ate isa...mali vicky pala. si...chiara to. kapatid niya.

HA HA HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha. gagantihan ko yon. lagi niya ako inaaway eh. baboy kasi yun eh. ay patay, parating na. tumae ata. ewww ang baho.


whoooy sorry, that was chiara.



grabe kung anu-ano pinagsasabi niya. I won't delete it nalang, so that you'd have a taste of her evilnosity. Hahaha. Ayan na matutulog na siya.

Anyways, yess, we did go to Batangas today. What I did? Slept the whole day. Yeah. Hahaha.
Whoy, I have got a whole week ahead, and I have to plan for it.

Don't forget to drop by my multiply! http://missunderstood18.mutliply.com new pictures and review. ;)


Saturday, October 28, 2006
i regret.

Haaay. Later, when mom arrives, I'll be going to Batangas. I'm not being mean or rude or anything, but I really don't like it there. And mom knows it. Why? Well, I really don't know. Maybe I just don't like the thought of sleeping on hard plywood. Who would?

I feel so gutted about my two multiply accounts. I made another one, because I was unable to maintain my first one. And now, I'm regretting it. I find it hard to reinvite everyone in my new multiply, and now I don't know what to do. If I just reload all the pictures in my multiply (which wouldn't be much of a bother), I'd get guilty with creating another multiply account. Wtf. That's the kind of person that I am. The type who gets guilty with unused accounts. Hey, you can't blame me.

You know what I want to do, I want to go to the beach at this time of the year. I don't know why, I just want the feel of the sea breeze. I'll try asking mom when we can go back to Tali Beach, which is also in Batangas. That place is amazing, it's given me really great memories, and I've been longing to go back there for years already. And the next time I go there, I want my friends to be with me.

Anyways, I have got the latest version of Internet Explorer. I don't know how I acquired it, I forgot. All I know is, it's really sleek, and I find it ultra-cool.

Hey, have you got any blog surveys out there? I want to answer one badly. ;)


realizations at a concert.

listening to: long way 2 go - cassie

I look to the blasting, glaring light effects onstage. I don't blink, I just try to continue looking. There are moments like these, moments where you wouldn't expect yourself to think so much about things. But in my position at that time, why wouldn't you? The lights are off, with nothing but the light effects to lighten up the whole gymnasium. Sugarfree's playing their songs, a perfect example of the good ol' Filipino way of romanticism. A young man's way with words. I try to listen to their lyrics, while the others just enjoy the moment.

It's true that you only realize the whole worth of one person when he/she leaves. Or is about to leave, to say the least. I have a friend who's leaving for Melbourne, Australia on November 18, and there's nothing else that I could do to stop her. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to stop her, because I know that she has a better future over there. That Australia has a lot of things to offer to her.

It's also true, that sometimes, when you like someone, you fail to see the bad qualities that they have. Or maybe you do see their bad qualities, it's just that you can't accept them, and you deny them on the long run. I don't know what you call it when you finally accept the fact that they possess that not-so-nice quals. I even thought in that very moment...that it was good that he left for a while. One of his friends have been a lot more nicer to me in a sense, and one I got to know better his other friend--both of them are our classmates.

I thought of more things. What he could be doing, what could have happened if he received my message (he didn't receive my message. =P check out the previous post). I just shed everything away, and just had fun along with everyone else. Pero after all, I can't forget everything. I just turn my back on the crowd and think, and talk to the people around me. After all, I wouldn't be seeing them after 1 week. One, after 2 years pa. =((

Haay, so please do me a favor. Please do not think so much on a concert. Especially if Bamboo and Sugarfree's playing.


Thursday, October 26, 2006
mistakes like these...

alistening to: greatest hits: carpenters (OH WAG NA MAG'REACT. bad trip eh. XP)

...are the ones that can ruin lives. It is incredibly stupid. I am telling you, watch those buttons that you're pressing on your dear cellies. And please, do me a favor and keep your head on your neck while texting. It's so stupid, why did I let myself send that button. It's stupid, effin shit.

Woohooooyyy bat naman kasi ganun. Is it a sin to say you miss a person? I don't mean it when I sent the button, I was out of my mind. I was weak. Pero I did it, and I just realized that I wasn't supposed to. Ayan na, wohhoooy sira na buhay ko. Pota. =(

I've had a really bad day today, really. I got an 89% in my Science quarter exam (bullshit, i know.). And then there's a huge possibility that the despedida won't push through. And then there's the "halimau", and of course, "him". Oh gaaahd why is this happening. Mabait naman ako ah. :(

Tanga lang naman kasi gagawa nun eh... Mygahd I can't stop blaming myself. Shhheeet talaga.

Mahirap pa kung walang honest. Kung walang nakakintindi. Kung 'di mo malaman kung sino nagsasabi ng totoo. Lahat sila..."malay mo" "di yan" "ok lang yan". Pota why won't anyone tell me, "OH MY GAD THAT'S SO PAKIN STUPID". Or maybe some are telling the truth, I don't know.

Ewan ko.

*update

oh pota, di naman umayos buhay ko. he didn't reply, pero atleast there are people around me to make me happy. :) "i can do what she can do so much better" OHYEAH PARIS. hahah. ohyeahh.

pero atleast i feel really really high right now.

who cares if he doesn't reply, then maybe he's not worth EVERYTHING. dibaa?

that's one way of putting it.

his loss, not mine.

BY THE WAY, 84 KA SA FILIPINO QE.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006
so beri touching. =P

what's in my playlist:
come to me - p.diddy feat. nicole scherzinger
get up - ciara feat. chamillionaire
long way 2 go - cassie
s.o.s - rihanna
nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks - panic! at the disco
nothing in this world - paris hilton (LOL! hey, it's cute. =P )


I'm really into queer music right now. If you find any common factor among all those 4 songs, that's what i'm really into right now.

Speaking of queer, what's queerer is I'm really into old songs right now. Well, I still find them cheesy, but it's the "cheesy factor" that makes them really nice. ;) Yeah, I'm telling you, it's freaking me out. I downloaded the whole Greatest Hits albums of The Carpenters. In case you don't know them, and I doubt that you do, you may well ask your 'rents about them. :-) Really really cool. Hahahahh!

------------------------------------------

It's been one day in the 'room without you, and it's...tres horrible. I don't know if I'm exaggerating or anything, but it IS very terrible. Yeah. I've got no one to look at, no one to wait for, no one to look out for. But you're in my mind overtime.

And I'm telling you, I was very, very happy when you texted me awhile ago (actually, HOURS ago)....at about... 1 am?! Hahahah! I was very startled when my phone sounded off very loudly while I was watching something on T.V. I couldn't sleep, because earlier, I was in a weird mood and I started cleaning things...and I got itchy all over so I took a bath, and since then I was unable to sleep.

How touching. You thought of me. =P

What's my position ba? =P


Sunday, October 22, 2006
and then i know i'll spoil it all by saying something stupid like "i love you"....

I'm in a really bad mood right now, and I guess it's because of PMS. I've never experienced PMS before, or maybe I have, I just haven't noticed it. I just had my braces tightened and my bottom jaw is experiencing PAIN, I am telling you. PAIN.

But you know what, there's something that can really battle PMS. Besides chocolate and good music...and shopping...nothing beats someone telling you that they're here for you. You know, when you suddenly hate everything in this world for some stupid reason, and then someone tells you to be happy and that she's here for you, bigla ka nalang maiiyak .

Haay. I love you Kat! :)


Saturday, October 21, 2006
my heart lives for your heart but you do not see me.

Along with the people inside;
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy


FRIDAY

We had Personnel's Day today. Woohoo, go Captain Barbell! ;-) Rock on. \m/ Anyways, the program was pretty cool, and I gotta give props to the SEB, they did a really great job. Wesley was tres amazing as a host, he made me crack up more than a few times. ;-)

After the whole program with most of us unable to feel our asses, we excitedly went out to venture to ATC. Initially, we thought of just walking. But being exposed to the shining shimmering splendid (and incredibly burning) sun, we just thought on joining Cams in their car. Unfortunately, they didn't have the car, so what choice do we have? Two choices. Trikes or walking. And since we're 12 people all in all under the burning sun, we had to choose walking, than waiting for three trikes to loads 4 of us into each. Nicole and the rest of the boys hitch-hiked to this guy (or gay) that said, "Hi papa, ang pogi mo naman, sakay ka?" Or something like that to Franklin. And they said (again, ehem. THEY.) that he(Franklin) showed a part of his leg. Hey, they just SAID that to me, and I found it pretty amusing. HAHAH! Peace, Franklin.

So yeah, we walked all towards the gate of Alabang Hills and a little more than that, then luckily, we were able to find a almost-empty jeep so we loaded into it on the way to town. HAHAHA! :-)

After that...what DID we do? Oh yeah, we ate. Food Cho. ;-)

Then timezone. The usuals. I was pissed off with the other drum stick in Drum Mania. It was wrecked...ehrr something. I was unable to deliver a WINNING performance. HAHAHAH. YEAH ROYT. Ohwell.

After that, we watched Employee of the Month!

Really cute, quirky and funny. Crikey, the movie house was practically owned by Beda already. Most of its audience were Bedans, who else?

What else. Timezone timezone. Picture picture, then everyone started to go home. :-(

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SATURDAY

Today. Ouch, my eyebrows still hurt. I just had them threaded. Oh, the sheer pain of beauty. But ohwell, they say beauty is pain, and the vain never complain. Hahah!

Started the day off with a trip to the dentist, had the color of the rubber of my beloved braces to another shade of blue, and my bottom jaw didn't have any rubber, 'cause the last bracket keeps coming off, and the rubber doesn't hold it properly, so he just used wires. Not painful. Just...ok. Hahah!

After that, we ate at Mickey D's (that's McDo for you, thank you very much. :) ) then bought tickets for The Banquet. Then had threading. Then made ikot. Then watched the movie!

Great movie, I'm telling ya fools. Hahahh! Watch it.


Thursday, October 19, 2006
a wonderful caricature of intimacy.

I don't know what to think
Positive or not?
You're driving me to the brink
Of sheer insanity and whatnot.




iTunes pick of the day: there's a good reason why these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet -- panic! at the disco.

I had a pretty wonderful day today. :-) I did pretty well in the Quarter Exams, except Science. I don't know the results yet. We had our first day in P.A. in Nutrition and Food Technology. My groupmates are...(drumroll, please) Jiggy, Hazel, Katherine...and... Josh. I'm the cook, Jiggy's the dishwasher (hahaha. I wish I could say it in a more eloquent way, though. ), Hazel's the leader, Katherine's the longkatuts. HAHA! Katulong. ;-) She's the housekeeper, and Josh is the marketer. The guy in charge of buying the ingredients and stuff. Wait, I'm not particularly sure with Hazel's and Katherine's position. :-)

Anyways, I'm really confused. He'll be saying bye tomorrow. I won't be able to see him before he leaves.

Ohwell, he'll come back anyway.

I'll miss him, though.

:(


Wednesday, October 18, 2006
paying in naivety.



The quarter exams are savage. Very bloody indeedy. Especially the Science quarter exam. Oh wow. Those are bloody sinister. Really hard.


Anyways, I haven't been blogging for a few days, and I guess that it's about time that I do.


What now? Oh yeah, we'll I've technically patched things up with him. We're "communicating" again. Or atleast, I'm attempting to. Which they say, is good. 'Cause if I'm not going to communicate, then who will? And there's nothing wrong with that, I just want to be friends with him. Really. Honestly. I mean, I have to wait. I wouldn't want to be anything more than that. It's hard, and complicated and everything. A guy friend is like a boyfriend without any commitments and attachments. Am I right? Maybe, maybe not.


Also, I'm loving Panic! at the Disco twice as much as I've loved them before. One is, I really really love their guitarist, Ryan Ross (second one from left in the picture. ;-)), oh sooo hot. Hahah! And even if I have downloaded practically all the songs off their album, I still had the original one. And believe me, the original one, the CD itself, is nicer than the downloaded ones. Especially Camisado. If I loved it as the downloaded format, I'm loving it more as the one off the CD. Woopee! And if you're going to ask me which songs of P!ATD are really nice, here's what I'm telling you. ALL OF THEM ARE NICE. I promise. :)


I'm going to have a pretty rad week this week and next week. Tomorrow will be just a regular Thursday, but it'll be nice seeing everyone after 5 days. Especially...well...you know. And Friday, I'll be wearing jeans, a green shirt and my black Chucks. Why? It's personnel's day, so we'll be staying only up to 11:30, I think. After that, we'll be going to town. Yeah.


Next week? Oh dear I don't even want to think of it. Monday, regular classes. Tuesday, no classes--Ramadan. Which sucks. 'Cause we have Guidance every Tuesday, and I happen to like guidance. Hahah! Wednesday... I don't know. Thursday...I don't know. Something naff happens on a Thursday. Friday? CONCERT!


Speaking of which, you-know-who won't be here next week. It's sad thinking of it, but yeah. He's missing the only (I THINK) concert of the year. Which rather sucks. No, i doesn't suck. It sucks very bad. :-(( Why he won't be here? I don't know, I really can't tell. But what I know is he'll be out next week 'til sembreak. I'll really miss his presence a lot. Really.


Oh well, I do have to get through the week, don't I? Life goes on, baby.


Peyce.

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Saturday, October 14, 2006
grease




Listening to: It Ends Tonight - the All-American Rejects

These past few days, I've got my iPod busted, and I can't study nor concentrate on what I'm doing very well. See, I'm the type of student who couldn't--and wouldn't--study without any sound surrounding me. Even if I'm in the dining room far from the TV, I still like it on. I never study without any music on. So these past few days, I was pretty idle, so I decided on using the TV in our room and putting on Pride & Prejudice on the player. Nah, too boring.

I found myself singing "hopelessly devoted to yooohooohooo...." (Yak, how cheesy.). So I looked for the Grease CD. I popped it on the player, and I continued replying to my messages while reading what Captain Barbell (who is Sir Calindro, by the way.don't ask.) assigned to us.

While watching I realized that they based High School Musical on Grease. Oh what a fluke. They did a bad rendition of it too. Even if set in the 50's, Grease is forgivable for its...well, cheesy-ness. And the song's aren't so bad. Hahah. They're pretty cool, really. I loved it's introduction...the one after the prologue. When they started introducing the characters in their caricatures and stuff. Really cute. The 'toons reminded me of the Archie comics that I love to read a lot.

It stars John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. Hahaha, and you thought John Travolta was the villain that you knew so well. He's cute in this movie. Hahah. Really cute. It'll make you laugh when you see him dance... yeah.
You'll really love the songs...like...Summer Lovin', Hopelessly Devoted and Grease Lightning.
I'm really into musicals nowadays, ain't I? I better check out Chicago.

So the next time you have your High School Musical withdrawal check out Grease, it's a bit more nicer, if you're in for the "oldies". ;) Peace, mates.


Friday, October 13, 2006
madaya.

I am, once again in the P.A. Lab. Friday the 13th is proving to be a pretty cool day for me. First I found out that she's not mad. And I'm trying to repent already, 'cause she's not doing anything mean to me naman. HAHAHA. I'm so bad, I know.

And I just found out that I had the highest grade in P.A.

HAHAAA! IN YOUR FACE! BLLEH.

try to be back later.

i'm playing this really cool game....

in http://puffgames.com

real, real cool.

try the McD Game. YEAH!


Wednesday, October 11, 2006
p.a. lab.

i'm in the p.a. lab right now, seating (almost) next to the almighty one in blue. i have nothing to do. i wish i could plug my website in front of them right now, pero i don't have the guts to do that. ackkkk... anyways, i'm sitting in the place where most of the boys are. believe me i never chose to be here (*ehem angelique/angeli ehem*), but anyways, it's kinda nice. they're playing this really queer game. it's like tekken with san goku in it. =)) and the boys act like...in a really naff way. hahahahahah!

oh wow. he looks amazing-er in side view. =))

he hates me alot.

magtago -> pagtatago.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006
you've got your gun to my head.

I'm just blogging right now. I have to take out all the stress. I swear I do. I have to:

...memorize my oratorical piece
...memorize my news report for Social Studies
...prepare my stuff for tomorrow's game

fuck it.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Cogs, you've got your gun to my head. Might as well pull the trigger and shoot me now.


Sunday, October 08, 2006
there's no bloody thing called love.

listening to: a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me - fall out boy.

I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.
...why don't you just drop dead?

Oh yeah. This is utterly confusing. And crazy. It's this thing that happens to you when you're purely infatuated with one person. Suddenly, all he is is all you want. But what happens if he really is what you want? I don't want a baller. I don't want a ghetto guy. I don't want a nerd. I want a computer techie, I want a guy who prefers football over basketball. I want a guy's who's just...a normal guy. A normal guy who doesn't fall under any stereotype. I want a guy who could be really nice, smart all looking good at the same time. Actually, what I wanted in him, (haha! I finally have the right words to describe why I liked him) is that he was able to give me something that I needed, without me telling him what I longed for. A friend.

The thing is, I wanted a man. Not a boy.

But you really can't expect a man to sprout out of someone who's just about to turn 14. I mean, can you? 'Cause if you can, then tell me. I want someone who sees through me. I want someone who doesn't like me for how high my grades are (even if they're not...), how much money my parents make. I don't want anyone liking me because of something that's concrete. Or something that could easily be lost. I want that person to like me for who I am. Easy to say. I'm not good-looking like you guys. I'm not as thin as Gisele Bundchen (WHO IS?!). I have got a lot of substance to make up for the good looks that I don't have. But the thing is, will he be able to exchange that substance for what I don't have? Would he rather have the substance, than the good looks?

Oh boy. This is going to be a very long schoolyear.

P.S. I didn't know what I was talking about while writing this. It's sayang to delete all that I typed, so I might as well press the orange Publish button.


anong klase ka.

One way to sieve men from boys is that boys like good-looking girls. Men like girls for more than that. I mean, men still like their ladeeeez to look good, but they don't like that girl for purely what she looks like. A man's lady has to have substance, a boy's girl just has to look good.

You know what, I know what you are. I thought you were a man. I thought you stood out. I thought you were "mature". No.

YOU'RE STILL A BOY.

I am so mad at myself for being so daft into thinking that you were a man.

Labels:


Friday, October 06, 2006
it's hard. napakahirap.

mahirap magmahal nang hindi mo alam kung mahal ka rin niya.
mahirap magmahal kung hindi mo nararamdaman ang mahal niya.
mahirap magmahal kasi masakit makita na di ka na niya mahal.
mahirap magmahal nang alam mo na hindi ka niya mamahalin kahit kelan.

mahirap maging masaya kung malungkot ka.
mahirap maging masaya kung may kasama siyang iba.
mahirap maging masaya kung di mo nakukuha gusto mo.
ok lang yan, ako rin naman eh.

***

it's useless when you give words of wisdom,
when you can't even hear the words that you say.
it's senseless when you struggle to believe,
in things you can't even feel.

***

wtf am i doing.


Thursday, October 05, 2006
may panday ba sa likod? bakit ang ingay?!

you seem to love the way i fall.
seemingly enjoying the wounds that i have to endure.

Wha. This is craaazzyy. And I don't think I could handle waiting for long. Ehrrr, why do I even have to make asa. Making asa gets you nowhere. Tanga din lang (gaya ko) ang gumagawa nun. Look at her, the ugly beets. She makes asa even if the guy hates her A LOT. And where does that get her? I am telling you, it gets her NOWHERE.

But whatever, it's her problem. I have my own.

I should stop talking about this.

***

I love the Aljamal guy! Everyone else loves Alex Angeles, bahala sila. :P Btw, Angeles and Aljamal (whoo Angeles and Aljamal. ano kayo, close? ) are from the Red Lions team. You know, the winning team of this season's NCAA. Whoo.

Anyways, people seem to like the spelling of my nick, Beekee. From Victoria to Vicky to Beekee. Coolness. Where else would you find a girl (or a boy for that matter) named Beekee? Where, I ask you, where?

I am totally loving The Clique Series right now.

***

Oh my God, this ugly beets is making me laugh. A lot. She thinks I'm dumb. Are you kidding me? I'm not a caveman. :p


Tuesday, October 03, 2006
ano problema mo?

I feel miserable. And once again, I don't know why. Well, I do know the cause of the misery, but I don't know exactly what this guck has to do with the source of all misery. One reason is, of course, theAOiB. I wish I could just be strong and carefree about this whole bollocks. I wish I would just let things pass by me, just let things happen. Bloody thing called...love. I wouldn't even dare call it love. Because the only way I can love a person is if that person shares the love with me. I'm not being selfish or petty or anything, it's just that how could I love a person that doesn't love me back? Where would it lead me? Plus, I'm to young to undergo this bloody stuff so I might as well plan on how to get over him...if I can.

Another source of misery is the bloody exams that we had today. We took up Science and English. No, it's not that I did bad (I have yet to find out), it's just that... I don't know. I thought I studied so hard, but to me it seemed like I didn't try.

There's something missing in my life.


Monday, October 02, 2006
ay ang tamis.

With the fact that I am supposed to be sleeping right now because it was given that we're going to have classes tomorrow, I just decided to waste time and blog. Bloody tests.

I have lots of lost time to make up for, so I'll just put Randomnosities.

Randomnosities:

*MTV sucks balls. >:-( . The temporary brownout just ended in time for 8th & Ocean, and then the bloody cable becomes blundering bollocks, I can't even see the people. Then I turn on the T.V. set, the show's over, MTV's working again.

*I want a two-storey house. And no,it's not because there's a thing between rich people and two-storey houses, it's just that I love balconies. I love the thought of reading while the stars shine down on me. I don't know. I just love gazing at stars.

*It's been 5 days since I last saw the Almighty One in Blue. I don't think I'd count on seeing him tomorrow. I don't count on seeing him at all.

*I'm loving the RENT soundtrack. A lot. Weehee.

*WHAT? No classes again tomorrow? JP says they announced it on TV Patrol World.

*I don't know if I'd want to go to school and see the Almighty One in Blue and take the tests. This no school thing is putting pressure on me. The longer no classes, the higher grade the teachers expect of us. What the fresh hell. I'm not sure if I don't want to go to school either...just because. I'm having much fun at home. I told you the computer was my home.

*Oh wait,have I talked about my new layout? Yeah I have a new layout. If you're not subscribed to DSL (just like me. =)) ) it'll take centuries before you'll see my byootiful (asa) layout. Yeah. What about it? Candy's October issue inspired me. It inspired me to push harder...to get featured on those glossy pages. =)) Also, I loved the things to do before you're 18. It motivated me a lot. It wasn't hard motivation. A really simple one, but it motivated me bad. WTF?

*On the Almighty One in Blue front, Milan has given me a non-foolproof plan on how to gauge the interest that he has for me. I'm not sure if I could pull it though. :-P

*I brushed my teeth while there was a temporary brownout, and then my sweet metal teeth just can't resist the temptation of the chocolates that Lola Bebs sent from the U.S. There those kinds which are wrapped in different colors, each having a different taste. I was disappointed there was only one Caramel Cup, but I knew why there was only one. It tasted bad and almost brought me on the brink of tonsilitis. :-P

*I bought new Bermuda shorts from Scoop. You know, my mind has been set into fashion-mood lately. Last Sunday I was sporting a skirt, this uso belt with huge circles bla bla, and this polo. Looked queer, but really cute. ;-) I even tried to shop at Delia's. It's an online shop. ;-) I even took notes in the Candy Oct. issue regarding my body shape. Not sure if I'm a heavy bottom, heavy top, or a full-figure. =))

*I'm cleaning up my Friendster gallery. You know, with my pictures and everything. I had 50 photos. That's too much. I'll just upload regularly with atleast just 20 photos. ;-)

*the Almighty One in Blue is really confusing me already. Deal or no deal?

peace,man.


goodbye, mate.

I know it'll be old news when I tell you that the ever-famous croc hunter is dead already. To be frank with you, I was never really interested in him. I was never interested with the environment, besides the fact that it's being slowly ruined by people who don't give a damn. I knew a croc hunter existed, but I didn't know he was Steve. I didn't know that he had 2 kids and a wife. Also, I didn't know that he was a wonderful person.

I never appreciated him until he was dead. The story starts one Saturday afternoon, when my little sister Chiara's watching Animal Planet. Of course, I went balls and I asked why the hell she was watching that, when Nicklodeon was available at the time. She claimed that the show was interesting. What choice do I have? I sat down. It was the last episode of the The Crocodile Hunter Diaries, and it talked about Sui, Steve's dog for a long time. Sui was terribly sick (I think she had cancer) and she might die anytime soon. Crikey. I really can't recall everything that happened, but if there's one thing that I could remember, it's that that episode made me cry. He really did care for animals. He was one of them, and I don't think he could have died a better way. I'm not saying that his death is a good thing, I'm saying is, I think he would rather a death caused by his own. A death among his own.

I never forgot that episode, and when I talk about it, I do get misty-eyed.

But the story doesn't even end there. Last night, I was watching ET, unable to sleep. There weren't any good shows, so I just switched to ETC. There was this feature about a public service at Australia Zoo, which was held last September 20. There were messags from Hugh Jackman, Cameron Diaz (How did her blonde hair turn brownish..brunette-ish?), Justin Timberlake, Kevin Costner, Larry King and Russell Crowe. But what touched me most was what little Bindi Sue, his daughter, said. With all poise I could never summon, with all guts and confidence for her daddy, she said in front of 5,500 people:


My Daddy was my hero – he was always there for me when I needed him. He listened to me and taught me so many things, but most of all he was fun.
I know that Daddy had an important job. He was working to change the world so everyone would love wildlife like he did. He built a hospital to help animals and be bought lots of land to give animals a safe place to live.

He took me and my brother and my Mum with him all the time. We filmed together, caught crocodiles together and loved being in the bush together.

I don’t want Daddy’s passion to ever end. I want to help endangered wildlife just like he did.

I have the best Daddy in the whole world and I will miss him every day. When I see a crocodile I will always think of him and I know that Daddy made this zoo so everyone could come and learn to love all the animals. Daddy made this place his whole life and now it’s our turn to help Daddy.


I honestly don't think I could do that. 5,500 people. But she was there, standing. All for her daddy. I can't help crying. One is because I can never afford to show much love to my father after everything. Only my mom, the Almighty One in Blue and I know how resentment there is inside. Actually, nowadays, I feel weird when fathers and daughters are mentioned. Sometimes, I think I'm super nuts. But even before we drift off to another topic, yes, I was very very touched. And I never imagined that Steve affected so many lives. So many people. He made so many people happy. He made so many people smile. That's what matters.

"Crikey mate, that's a big croc!"


Sunday, October 01, 2006
kendi. m&m's, chupa chups, ano pa ba? sulat tayo!

: when you were young, the killers; bermuda shorts; knee-length skirts.

I feel so inspired to write right now, to come up with a brand-new layout, and it's all because of the Candy October issue.

As a kid, I knew I could write. But I never thought I could write as good as I could write now. I thought that I should follow all the cliches and the stereotypes of writing. You know, that you should talk from a philsophical point of view(Now I know you should only do that during formal essays. Hahaha. Now, I couldn't even remember how to do that.) , and everything should be in place, that you can't write the way you write in your journal. Thanks to Miss Jadrin, I touched that writer in me, and I had the new-found ability to write. I was confident, and I learned that I wrote better in English than in vernacular Filipino. When I was 11, I wasn't that confident in writing. Sure, I knew how to write already, but I never took pride in my works. I still felt small. I had a feel of the people around me--I tried to know the competition. I was competing with myself. I also started blogging when I was 11. No, maybe 10. That time, still thriving in Xanga, I used to write ThiS wAy, and spelled dS wEi. That was what the cool kids did. (Ewww, that's one of the ickiest things I've done. :-P.) When I started in Blogger, I pretty much still had the dS wEi typing. Until months progressed, I've visited more blogs, and discovered that it was very icky to write that way. I just laugh about myself when I visit that vair old blog.

I continued writing in my blog, as if it were the center of my world. As if it was only me who could see it. As if I was the only person who knew about it. My blog has helped me in a way that no human person could. It sounds freaky, but it's very true. It has helped me grow a lot. And surely, in some way, it made me appreciate my works more, because other people appreciated them din. Blogging has made me feel comfortable with myself in a way no one knows of. I believed in myself. Blogging has also taught me how to self-discover. To learn things on my own, to work hard.

When you think about it, blogging is nothing. Compared to many other websites who made an impact in other people's lives, to websites who has helped in billions of homeworks, to websites who have made couples, friends, to websites who offered bidding and shopping, my blog is nothing. But I guess I shouldn't think of making an impact on others' lives, because if there's one thing I could be sure of, it's that blogging has most certainly made an impact on my life.

So blog, I highly recommend it. If you're a guy, don't be shy. I know girls who find it most impressive when a guy blogs--and that includes me. :-)

P.S. you might be wondering why that little pink heart is there, well you'd be seeing it more often. It stands for: what i'm loving right now.